There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I wish i was in the wii world.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
