I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
