Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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