There is no way he is gay with that hair.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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