Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
