would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
