When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
