i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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