Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
