I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
