have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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