Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Shame - the story of my life.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize