Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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