I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
you never un-have a 4some
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
