he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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