Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize