I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
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I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
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Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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