you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you inspire me to be a worse person
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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