He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
