She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
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You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
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When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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