I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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