Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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