you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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