Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
