Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
