My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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