I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
