would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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