I want you more than these girls want KFC
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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