Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
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