cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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