when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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