Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
