If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
