there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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