The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It's shark week go big or go home
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
