i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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