high people should be assigned attendants
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
