My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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