I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
