Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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