This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
well I can't set my house on fire every night
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
