What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
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She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
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That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner