I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch