Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
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Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
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I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.