How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
