eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
