Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
