dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
