I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
