My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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