Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
