Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
