When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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