i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize