I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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