I'm eating all of the evidence.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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