...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
