physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
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Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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