Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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