yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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