Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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