You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
