so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
3 2 1 whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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