just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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