I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Randomize