So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
